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Your Family

As you go through treatment for your lung cancer, you may encounter unexpected physical, emotional, and practical challenges, especially in your relationships with your family. Your diagnosis may affect the lives of those closest to you. Click here to go directly to:

Family Matters
Sources of Information
Additional Resources

This may be a time when you feel a stronger connection to your loved ones. Or, you may feel more disconnected from those around you, if they are unable to provide the level of support you need now. Your family may not be prepared to cope with your lung cancer, struggling with the issues of how hopeful or realistic they should be.

Family Matters

You may be greatly comforted knowing you have a healthy, supportive family. Your loved ones can help you feel more hopeful and better prepared for the rigors of treatment.

How you and your family cope with your lung cancer will be determined to a great extent by how your family has functioned as a team in the past. Consider how your family typically handles problems: Are you all comfortable sharing feelings? Or do some family members tend to avoid talking about or handling serious issues and emotions?

The ways in which your family perceives and accepts your lung cancer can have a strong influence on everyone’s adjustment to the experience. All of your family members—your spouse/partner, your parents, your children, your siblings—may be impacted by the diagnosis at different times and in different ways. You also can expect their roles, reactions, and responses to vary, which may cause difficulty in the way family members interact as you all try to adjust. Please try to remember that it is normal for you and your loved ones to feel frustrated and lost. It may help if you can maintain your routine as much as possible. Part of that routine may include setting goals and making plans.

For information, click these links:

Setting Goals
Making Plans

It’s also important to let each person deal with the impact of your cancer in his or her own way and to have personal time for themselves. Here are some suggestions for helping your family:
  • Talk and get feelings out in the open. Sharing feelings instead of hiding them can free people to offer support and allow you all to focus on the issues behind the feelings.

  • Discourage false cheerfulness. This is a common response from well-meaning family members who mistakenly believe they should cheer you up and keep you happy. Instead, it may discourage you from talking about things that need to be said and keep you from getting the emotional support you need from your family.

  • Start the conversation. Everyone may be waiting for you to bring up the subject. If it’s not easy for you to talk about your feelings, consider writing in a daily journal.

  • Keep a log to help stay organized. Keeping a log of things you need to do may help to reduce stress, for you and your family. This log can make it easier to remember appointments and medication schedules.
Please keep in mind that being able to recognize problems within your family is an important first step to solving them. For many families who are trying without success to feel better or change things, counseling may be beneficial.

Sources of Information

You may want to continue to access other information and resources, including those you’ll find in this and other sections of the Web site. The following topics may provide information to strengthen your family ties:

Your Spouse/Partner
Your Parents
Your Children

Knowing where to find credible and accurate information is an important step toward making life better for yourself and your loved ones. The following resources may help:
  • Association of Cancer Online Resources (ACOR)
    173 Duane Street, Suite 3A
    New York NY 10013-3334
    1-212-226-5525
    http://www.acor.org
    Offers information and support through its integrated system of online discussion groups and also hosts a growing number of Web sites created by patients for patients and caregivers, cancer advocacy organizations, and professional organizations.

  • The Wellness Community
    919 18th Street, NW
    Washington, DC 20006
    1-888-793-WELL
    http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org
    Offers education and emotional support to cancer patients and their families. The program includes support groups, stress-reduction techniques, cancer education workshops, exercise tips, and social events.

  • The Center for Family Caregivers
    P.O. Box 224
    Park Ridge, IL 60068
    1-773-334-5794
    http://www.caregiving.com
    Provides information for caregivers through the "Support Center" and "Your Care" sections of the homepage, and offers a free e-newsletter.

Additional Resources

You may wish to read the following books for additional support and information for your family:

Facing Cancer Together
Pamela N. Brown
Augsburg Fortress
ISBN: 0-8066-3833-8, 96 pages
1999

Cancer in the Family: Helping Children
Cope With a Parent’s Illness
Sue P. Heiney, PhD, RN; Joan F. Hermann, MSW, LSW;
Katherine V. Briss, PsyD; Joy L. Fincannon, RN, MS
American Cancer Society
ISBN: 0-944235-34-4, 218 pages
2001

How to Help Children Through a Parent’s
Serious Illness: Supportive Practical Advice
From a Leading Child Life Specialist
Kathleen McCue, MA, CCLS, with Ron Bonn
St. Martin’s Griffin
ISBN: 0-312-14619-1, 221 pages
1994